It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
