I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My dick has a subreddit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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