She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
