reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
