Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
