I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
did you just send me my own nude
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
