girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
