when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
