Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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