If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
pray to the hookup gods
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
