I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
