mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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