is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
