did you get engaged???
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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