It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the condom got lost in my hair
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
