Duck Duck Cougar?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
