Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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