Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
