and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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