It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
