hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize