Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
