well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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