at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
