Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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