one two three fourrrrnication!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
