he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
