so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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