hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
