How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
