Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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