wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
