Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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