lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
