seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
