I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
