dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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