Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
only if we run a train.
done.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
sex in a hospital.. check
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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