He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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