I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
