just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize