I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
