just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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