6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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