Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
