Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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