if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
