office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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