Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
