once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
