Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
