I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize