Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so let's talk penis.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So many bounce houses so little time
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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