i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
