i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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