i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
