there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thank you for not boning my boss.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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