Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize