I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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