I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
