How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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