The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
