You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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