this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
