Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
