my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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