we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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